Sad

Too many things make me feel like crying. Like trying to choose which Oxford college to apply to, convinced that there's only one right choice and scared of screwing it up for a second year in a row. Like the fact that, out of the two philosophy books referenced in my personal statement, one's shit and the other I haven't read, and probably never will read. Like the prospect of starting a university course that I don't want to be starting, at a university I don't want to be going to. Like the constant reminders of said start. Like the pile of books right next to me, on topics that I really don't give a fuck about. Like the thought that I've fucked up my whole life. Like the knowledge I'm completely unprepared for my driving test in less then two weeks time. Like needing to spend money. Like having a really quite huge inferiority complex. Like the fear of amounting to nothing. Like being so locked up in all these worries that I'm completely unable to relate to anyone else. Like going to bed at night. Like knowing I say "like" way too much. Like thinking of all you guys, scared that I'd never post another entry. Like not being able to cry. Like cheesy closing sentences. Like some other stuff that I've probably forgotten.