Masturbation makes you go blind

Well, internet porn does. Well, the internet in general does. Well, sitting at a PC for too long without a break does. Well, it makes you short-sighted. Well, it makes your more short-sighted if you're already short-sighted. That's what my optician told me today. Well, that's what she told my mum.

I was having a rest earlier, when my mum came into my room and said, "I've got something important to tell you." So I said, "Go on then." So she said, "Well I've just got off the phone to the optician, and she said that I did book you a full eye examination, and it was her mistake, not mine." Okay, so my mum still makes my optician's appointments. It's not that I'm totally dependent on her, I'm just not good with phones. I hate phones and will avoid using them at any opportunity. So anyway, I said to my mum, "That's not important," to which she said, "Can you shut up! I'm getting there. So I've booked you another appointment for the beginning of September."
"Can I just have the important thing, please?"
"OKAY! She said she couldn't believe the rate your eyesight's deteriorating at and said you're going to have to stop using the internet so much. And have a 15 minute break every half-hour."
"Couldn't you have just said that in the first place? Go away now, please. I'm tired."
And my mum stormed off. And really, who can blame her? Because really, the question I should have been asking was, why couldn't the optician have told me in the first place? It seems like a strange thing to forget to say after an eye check-up. "Oh yeah, and you're going blind." In fact, if nothing else, that's the only thing I want to hear from an optician's appointment. Well, not want to hear, but you know.

And yes, I'm aware of the irony that I'm writing this on my PC. Of course I am. I see the irony in everything. One of those internet personality tests told me so. But then, it also told me I was a pacifist, so probably best to take it with a pinch of salt. Anyway, now I just need to find something to fill the third of my waking life that I'm not sat at my PC with. Spent a good few hours watching TV tonight. Seems like a good substitute. Especially if I'm rapidly losing my vision; want to get as much as I can out of it. Six Feet Under's back. Love that programme. The deaths make me laugh. Hope they're supposed to and I'm not just a sick fuck. Either way, I guess it's the right side of necrophilia, so that's something.

I wanted to now say "I'm going to have a wank now. Bye", but I'm worried that you'll be thinking about the necrophilia instead of the title of this entry, as originally intended, so I won't. Well, I'll stick with the "Bye" bit. Bye.